Report Book Blues

End of year can be somewhat depressing yet it can be fun and exciting at the same time. I guess when one gets older, each year end means lost of time and precious youth. Of course youth is something we are losing every second the minute we were born.

Year end is also a time when you get your report book. It tells you your milestones of not just the current year but also a summery of what you are now and before. When you take a hard look again on that report book, you know right away, whats working for you and whats not. A third look at it tells you what should be done for the coming new year.

Oh yeah. That very report book can make you either feel rewarding or depressing. But the depressing part seems to come in more often than the rewarding part. Reason is simple, we will never feel contended no matter how much we have had achieved. There are always something we should have had done or something we all shouldn't. Just like what we always say "If I had known...". Conclusion is, we are never gonna know.

All I know from my report book this year is, There are lots of "I SHOULD/COULD HAVE HAD"...... Oh well, I can see that clearly now and that's gonna be what I will work on next year.

Meanwhile, its year end. I concluded at this point of time, I shall have a 2 weeks break and just enjoy myself for now. Yeah, let my lazy bones take over me to relax and to recharge, for the road to my next report book is gonna be a long way later. Reality shall resume on 2nd Jan 2011. CHEERS!

Sunflower

What do you see in a sunflower? Is it something that brings you joy, fills your heart with love the moment you're awake or simply just a plant, a flower that serves no purpose but a piece of decoration?

Who is your sunflower? Is it someone or something like how you would wear as a scarf on Tuesday and it will simply be buried in your wardrobe for the rest of 364 days?

When do you see a sunflower? Is it something you would only take notice when you walk into the hotel lobby in Bali?

What is a sunflower, to you? When you don't have an answer, nothing matters to you but you.

The party has begun.

Nothing's much is happening. Just the usual things to do and to be done during xmas season thats all. This season there's a kind of peace in our hearts. Looking back, this feels like the best xmas season Prince and I ever had.

The point of cutting down all dead wood is to make way for new trees to grow. Its painful for us in the beginning but we are enjoying fruits from the new trees now. What didn't work for us in the past has to be thrown away, that's why we have spring cleaning. What's better than living in a clean and fresh surrounding so that we all can be well prepared to face new challenges for the coming new year?

The lights in town are splashed in our favorite blue. We are blessed to have just peace, love, joy, support and endless steamboat & moscarto parties.

Nothing much is happening really, it's simply wonderful. I'm loving it.

Speechless

A friend shared this on FB lately. "If life can be as simple as just sitting in front of TV with a tub of Ben and Jerry's..." Oh yes, it can be that way totally, if one can see no evil ,hear no evil and feel no emotion.

I've learnt quite an important lesson recently but only this very moment I start to fully understand it. I've had never like nor enjoy doing housework until recently. Everyday I took pride in cleaning up my house. But this moment I am thinking, no matter how hard I tried cleaning, washing and dusting, there'll always be dust and dirt. So this cycle will never gonna end. I can give 10 years of my life doing cleaning and trying my best not to give up but truth and fact is, it's a never ending thing.

Some things are not meant to be..... Its just me cleaning, the house will never clean itself.

Why bother? Skip the hurt and pain. I should just get a maid.

Diva's Cafe 咖啡厅11

一位老朋友为了买我爱喝的邻国咖啡粉给我居然排队了四十五分钟。 难得的不是咖啡却是这份心意。我的确是幸福的。需要帮忙时，朋友们都二话不说，双手自然的伸出来。我任性的时候，朋友们都包容我。我不开心的时候，朋友们也会哄我。我老“黄”卖瓜的时候， 朋友们也很乐意的聆听。我说要减肥，朋友们劝我不要节食。我说要登山，朋友们一口答应陪我去还自动的陪我运动健身。我，应该是快乐的。

今天的心情却是复杂的。不是不快乐，但就是不开心。可能，我又任性了。朋友们， 不好意思又让你们操心了。谢谢大家让我幸福的任性。。。 :)

Yard for reflections

I have an interesting yard. Its the place where I watch my washing machine spin and where my clothes are hung to dry. Yet its also a place where I do my daily reflections. Magic seems to work its power there. Maybe it has got something to do with the aura of the place or something. So many times, gossips, heart to heart talks and truth were all told in the yard. Even my friends are drawn to my yard.

You should be here

Like a sudden outburst in the middle of laughter, my heart sank for a moment. I had images running in my head, like a film playing by itself, I thought I saw you walked in. In your usual black shirt and jeans and that smile on your face, I repeated to myself that you should be here.

Almost everyone is here but you. You never failed to turn up when I call. Yet now, whats left of you in me are just my imagination. You are not a call away anymore. You had became my imagination.

You would have enjoyed the food. You would have enjoyed your stay. There are so much fun and laughter to share. Maybe I need to cry but I shall not for I should still set a good example to you be it you are dead or alive.

My dear friend, you'll always have a place in my heart. RIP

窗内，窗外

窗外的窗尽是残留的过去，窗内却是一个新的故事的开始。窗外的人是否记得窗内人的故事？　窗内的人何必在乎窗外的事？　终于，窗内的人把窗给关上了。窗外的人始终留在自己的窗内继续自己的故事。。。。

Run to you

Besides updating about myself being busy, there's nothing new to talk about. What is new? Excitement perhaps means new and vice versa. History repeats itself every second since the beginning of time. Yes, I've had concluded, there's nothing new.

I am never afraid of the old ancient repetition of happenings and doings in life but the lost of excitement. To me, excitement is everything. How can one ever progress well at work if one finds no excitement in waking up at 630am just to get to work? Thats just one example.

The million dollar question is , how do we find excitement?

Seriously, I don't have that answer. I only know it all comes down to what we believe in and perceive. Our natural protective instinct kicks in when we face fear and doubts so we tend to perceive ourselves to end up with bad outcomes just to keep ourselves away from hurt and pain. Hence, no excitement! Yep, so when one sees broken glasses on the floor, one holds back his footsteps. So how about leaping forward with excitement to get to the other side? Shift of thoughts.....

Anyway, how are you doing? Are you leaping forward or are you holding back your footsteps?

What do you believe in?

Have a great week ahead. Cheers

Diva's Cafe 咖啡厅 10

好忙。。真的忙到最近咖啡也少喝了。你好吗？　不要质疑，　我正是在问候这时候你。是否你也和我一样忙着建立美好的将来，忙着勇敢的跨越人生的新阶段？　还是现在的你和曾经的我一样处于休眠状态？　累了当然就要休息，而且要敢敢的好好的休息。　休息够了自然而然冲劲就会回来。

终于今天我能够好好的，慢慢的品尝我最爱的咖啡。。。　我们一起加油吧！　　

Diva's Cafe 咖啡厅9

朋友送的香浓咖啡每一口都苦中带甜。喝完了以后虽然口中留下一点苦味但心中留下的却是甜的。风平浪静同舟共游其享乐，有得玩时，谁都想上舟。 能几许风雨，同舟共济的就唯独赠我咖啡之友们也。这杯咖啡苦的值得。干杯！

Make it real

I have not pack my bags but I'm so ready to go again! I'm so looking forward to this new adventure of mine. Not sure for how long this trip's gonna be but yes it's at least 2 weeks I'm talking about, if not it will be 3 months or more.... Crossing my fingers!

I know I shouldn't count my chickens before those eggs hatch but I really can't help it. It's good to dream. I can feel my vision coming real.

How are you feeling today? I wish you well too! :)

Beauty Sleep

I've been overworked lately so I'm now trying to catch up on my sleep. Hope all is well with you. I've nothing to update for now as my brain has taken her vacation somewhere... LOL

For now and the next few days, I wanna do NOTHING. Except for showers, eat, drink, toilet breaks and TV. The rest of the time I am gonna go into a vegetable state of mind....

Hi! I'm a tomato.... Maybe not, I think I am a potato . Gosh I'm not sure...Maybe a strawberry?

I can still laugh. Yes I can!

Lost the Iphone prince bought me.... I can only laugh about it. Yep why not? Not that I don't feel sad but I have to focus on my current project. So I just gotta laugh about it and move on.

Lets think about it this way. I can get myself a new phone. Hummm..... IPAD VS IPHONE 4....

I think I'll just go for a cheap phone and also forget about Ipad since I have had already spent quite a sum in states.

Anyway.....................

It's time to get back to work. Lots to do today.

Good morning, Good afternoon and Good Nite! Hope all is well with you.

Cheers

Diva's Cafe 咖啡厅8

还是感触的一刻，还是同样的冰冻咖啡。不同的只是时间，人物， 地点和心态。。。

Diva's Cafe 咖啡厅7

今天的感触多了一些。能够在家的感觉真的很好。今天我把咖啡加了些冰块。冷冷的一口一口慢慢的喝下去，十分痛快。

Home Sweet Home

My trip is cut short by a week but it's still great to be home. My nieces made a card for me! Awwww sweet!

My flight arrived an hour early. The flight crews must be in a rush to come home. LOL Its so quiet at the airport at 430am and that made terminal 2 looked depressing....

I hardly slept in the plane. It was a very stressful flight even when the services were excellent and seats were very very comfortable. Its the turbulence that stressed me out. I stayed up and watched 4 movies, dozed off in between and jolted up by the turbulences. I prayed to heaven most of the time, fearing for my fragile life. Then came a point I kinda gave up, told myself there's nothing I can do about it since I was in mid air. I know this sounds kinda silly but I really can't help it. LOL

Gonna go take nap now... Hope all is well with you.

Cheers!

California Dreaming

Yes yes yes! Feels great to be back in LA! I do enjoy my time in Ohio but its the endless beaches and piers I've been missing most in LA. It's really strange. Life really works in such unexplainable mysterious ways.

It was four years ago, when I took the shuttle cab leaving my beautiful "home" of 3 months in Santa Monica and made my way to the airport. It was very early in the morning and the cab passed by Marina Del Rey. I kinda know of this place before my journey to LA as I had to look for a place to stay over the internet. I saw those beautiful pictures online and never thought I would actually get to see it with my own eyes as it was too far from my school. So when I passed by Marina Del Rey in a cab four years ago, I wondered what my experience would be if I could spent a few nights there.

How funny... My friends (a married couple) bought a beautiful apartment here and so here I am in Marina Del Rey! The best part is I saw Morgan Freeman! I'm quite sure its him. I was walking back from Venice Beach and was trying to figure out my way and I was hesitating if I should cross the road. Then a car stopped and waited for me to cross. I didn't cross and gave way instead and when I looked at the driver and smiled, I thought I saw a very familiar face, the driver smiled back at me and within seconds the car dove away and then it hit me.... He's MORGAN FREEMAN!!! WAHOO!

Venice beach is another place I'd always wanna explore. I heard about it through my acting school classmates during my stay in LA. Finally I made my way there and its just a 15min walk away. The pier was fun and people were fishing on the pier. That reminded me of our Bedok Jetty. But the catch here is more exciting. Mackerel !! Lots of it!! I wished I had fishing rod with me! ARRGH!

Walked into a bar at 4pm near the beach. The bar is something like what we see in the movies. I ordered a Bud Lite, gulp it down immediately, paid the waitress and walked out. All under 60seconds. LOL I know it sounded crazy but that's my point. I didn't want to hang out there and start a conversation with strangers. I mean I am alone after all. I only wanted to get the feel of being in an old school American bar. So 60secs is good enough for me.

Met a few Singaporeans over dinner just now. It was fun to get to know new people and to catch up with friends.

Gonna meet up with 2 classmates tomorrow and am really looking forward to it. GOSH! I can so live in LA for another 3 months! I hope I get to come back real soon. But meanwhile I am gonna enjoy my last two nights here.

I always believe and trust that life will work out for me . Positive thoughts attracts positive results. Even though I have shorten my trip but I am thankful with all the blessing I've been receiving from heaven. I know and I truly believe I'll be back in LA soon. One just gotta trust and have faith in oneself and heaven.

Hope all is well with you!

PMS and I don't know what anymore......

I'm not in a good mood today. Guess it must be my PMS or maybe it was because of the super hot sun that burned my skin this afternoon. Maybe it's the thought that I don't get the chance to hang out with Carolina anymore until she comes back. Maybe maybe..... One thousand more reasons I can find. It also could be because I didn't buy the nice CK dress in the mall and that bag in the arts museum...

Gosh! It's really so hard to be a woman. Only if men would understand. LOL

Oh well. I'll be fine. Of course I will as always. LOL

I will survive. :)

Hope you have a great day! CHEERS!

I'm starting to feel better already!

Leap Of Faith

Missed Jerry last night. Couldn't help but to think about him.

Hey Jerry! Are you watching over me from heaven?

Let's talk about you today. Yeah you, the one reading the words on this blog right now, this moment.

Who are your friends? What's your kind of music? What do think of the color "Purple"? Have you seen "The A Team" ? Do you like sunflowers? What's your idea of a good day? Have you ever take a moment to invoke all your senses at once? It can be quite an experience.

If there's a place right now you be there in 3 seconds, I'm talking about anywhere in the world, where will it be and why? Have you ever shown your vulnerability to anyone? Whats your biggest fear? Nah... I'm talking about real fear. Come on! LOL

Have you ever been present? I mean really being present for anyone? What was the last thing on your mind before you went to bed last nite? Did you smile when you wake up this morning?

I did. Hope you did too. :)

Nice knowing you.

Oh Carol.........

Hey Hey Hey....... The song of the day is "OH CAROL"! Gosh... 2 decades already....

Yep, I wouldn't have imagined this happening in a foreign land 2 decades ago. WOW... But yes I'm here and meeting Carolina, my CHIJ classmate in 30 minutes. I'm feeling so nervous.

May you have a great day ahead!! Cos I'm know I'm gonna have one too!!

CHEERS! :)

Sunset at 10pm

The sun doesn't set fully till 10pm here. The blur me only realized it now. The world wide web says the sun rises here at 6am. Gosh super long day everyday. No wonder I felt drained for the last two nights even when I did almost nothing.

I am a night person. Poor me. LOL I prefer the night. Quiet and cooling, it helps to boost my creativity. But well I guess I'll adjust my life here pretty well soon. Who wouldn't? Nice weather, nice people plus there's no traffic jams and stress free town.

Sometimes its good to slow down. The living enviroment, just like feng shui can change a person. It can either destroy you or heal you. Looks like I've just found another good reason to be here. I came here to heal. Ironically, I am now living in a world prestige medical town that's number one ranking for heart program.

When I first started my journey, I thought it would be just as simple as visiting a friend (who is seeking treatment here) and to provide assistance in every way I can. But looks like now I'm the one who is seeking treatment and receiving assistance here instead.

Its strange how life works. You think you are helping people yet its actually the other way round. I didn't know my heart's tired until now. I mean I knew in a way but just didn't think I'm that tired. Who wouldn't be tired after being trapped and struggled 24/7 in a city for so long? We city people are sick. Just too much going on living in a city. For me especially the last 2 months. The accident and death of Jerry and other accumulative stuffs. I want my kampong. I miss Tioman island. Now, where's my Ali kopi?

Tomorrow I'm gonna have to move out from this cosy guest house and move into a nice hotel. I'm so gonna miss the smiles from the people here, the free wifi and the cosy lounge area. Its been my "home" for the last two nights after all. I am actually moving just across the street so that I can be closer to my friend. Tomorrow I will honor my responsibility and integrity as a friend. That's what I am here for in the first place.

I spoke to Justina on the phone just now. She spoke of how much she misses Jerry. My heart sank. But I'm fine now. Spoke to another friend just now, he broke the news of his mom being diagnosed with cancer. Guess when I get back I shall spend time with this old friend of mine. I know there's nothing I can do but at least I can be there for him.

Road Rage Diva

Crazy...... I must be crazy..... I did a most crazy thing last evening. Prince was laughing about it and he was mean cheeky. I can hear it from his laughs from the other side of the phone. Like he always said " Ermm... I was more worried for other drivers on the road." ARRGH

Oh no, its not about my driving skills. (I'd think so, at least) But more on how I'm most likely to turn into The Road Rage Diva...

Like the other time when I tried to stop a teenager from bashing up a poor little boy. Prince said he was more worried for the teen. I wonder if its because I told him I have some Mongol blood running in my body. Yeah Genghis Khan!! I have warrior blood in me!!

Anyway, it is not illegal for me to drive here as long as I am under supervision. Carol told me she heard from a friend that the local police here prefer to catch traffic offender because there's USD$100 commission for the police. I wonder if its the same back home.

By the way, driving lessons starts from Monday.

Gotta go for my morning walk. CIAO!!

Hope all is well with you.

Diva's Cafe 咖啡厅6

I saw my first river in states.... YAY!

Another yay for me is that I did not buy the pair of shoe I like from the shop thats next to the river... Yeah? ARRRGGGGH!

I'm very good here. Well taken care of by Ben and his family. Nothing can express my gratitude for their kind hospitality. I don't know what I can do to help, but I wish I can find ways to help or do something for them. However I'm really clueless. Now I can only hope I'm not a burden to them thats all.

This morning I spoke to my pals via skype. (I'm thankful for this invention!!)

I heard from them that it flooded AGAIN in Orchard road and Thomson road. My friend's car was half submerged at the open carpark at cineleisure. He managed to free his car but as he drove to Thomson road there was another flood. He and many other drivers were forced to do an illegal u-turn, driving opposite way on the one way road.....

Anyway, I'm going out for a short walk. I wish you well and hope you'll enjoy the song.

Cheers

:) I'm lovin it

Hello! How are you doing?

I'm having fun here in the states. Managed to spend a little time at the beach. Simply beautiful.

But I dozed off in the cinema..... Wasted USD$10.... :(

Slept very well last nite. No jet lag. Woke up at 7am without the alarm clock. Love the weather here. However I had to catch a flight to another state. Sad to leave but its good to be able to explore new places.

Finally I'm at where I should be. Glad to be here. Gonna meet up with a primary school classmate who moved here. Glad to see Ben and his family. He got such a sweet and beautiful wife and his kids are so cute. He's recovering well from his surgery. I'm happy for him.

We had dinner at a Taiwanese place. Nice beef noodle. Bought a bun for supper and the lady gave me another bun for free. Awww.... So happy!

I'm lovin it.....

Meow meow meow meow.....

I haven't pack yet.... GOSH! I STILL HAVEN'T PACK YET!!

My internal flight has been confirmed and I'll be flying with Continental Airlines. I wonder if its the same carrier I flew to Vegas on. I may have flown on American Airlines the last time. It's been too long. Don't remember much....

Anyway it was sweet of my friend who booked the tickets for me. I felt bad that my poor friend who just got out of surgery had to spend time to help me arrange my flights and the others. Should be resting and meowing away.... :P

Yay! I get to spend a night in Marina Del Rey! I have been there once just for a couple of minutes and been wanting to see more of the place ever since. I am so glad Annie and David bought a beautiful home there last year, so now I get to crash in their guest room! Hehee :P Can't wait to meet their puppy Roofy! I hope I get to meet Louis and Manish too... But its over an hour drive away from Santa Monica. Crossing my fingers. Yep I'll upload some pics here when I get back.

My Swedish friend will be flying in. Hope I'll get to meet her again. Anyway Ann will be hanging out with her if I am still not back by then.

I am freaking out. I hope my laundry will dry in time. Yes I know, I should move my butt and start to do my packing, NOW....

Diva's Cafe 咖啡厅5

今晚的咖啡有点苦涩，正好反映了我的心情。It's hard not to think of Jerry. 他的生日也过了好几天了。 以为就可以这样慢慢淡淡的忘记。 I tried not to think about him but ended up eating on the same street where we had our last meal together. 好弟弟， 生日快乐。Rest in peace my friend....

Leaving on the jet plane

I love to travel but not the flying part. Especially when the plane takes off and the sudden drop in mid air. Scary.... My last flight on Silkair to Xiamen was really frightening... The plane suddenly dropped a few meters in mid air when the crews were serving refreshments. I burst into tears and prayed hard for my life to heaven. PLEASE LET IT BE A SMOOTH FLIGHT ! Crossing my fingers....... Its not funny to fly alone.

I fly alone most of the time and yet I have no idea how I got through each time. The take offs, the turbulence, and the landing part.

I wonder what shall I pack into my luggage. I am glad to be able to visit my friend. It's gonna be a super long flight. I hope I will not be squeezed in between two strangers who snored their way on the 18 hour long flight again. This time I shall not ask for window seat. Forget the clouds.

I am gonna travel light this time and will survive the entire trip with just 2 jackets, not 7. I know its gonna be chilly. But I guess my body fats should be enough to keep me warm. LOL

Shoes... I'll wear my track shoes and bring long a pair of boots and maybe a pair of heels. 2 pairs of jeans, a few nice tops and 2 dresses should be enough. I hope so. I don't know when I'll be back but 3 weeks is max for me.

My dear Mr Lenovo (laptop) will be travelling with me. It's stupid to travel without a laptop in my case. Oh yes, bringing along 2 books to read will be nice too.

NAH ! No shopping this time! Okay... Maybe some cosmetics from duty free shops BUT that's about it!!

Paul, please decide for me what to wear....

Now I know what not to wear. I'd rather wear jeans or put on something that's 100% silk. It gotta be nothing heavy. Oh those shoes..... Gosh! It better be comfortable.

The last time I wore my Adidas under the ken-ken and did the run-away bride thingy. It wasn't too bad. No "table cloth" for the train please. Maybe no train at all, on the second thought.

I must have worn bridal gown for 5 times at least. Each time it happens my excitement level decreases, plus the fact that I have never seen any gown that I truly fancy over the years. Now I'm starting to think, maybe there will never be a gown for me. Believe me, looking for the perfect gown is harder than looking for a soulmate. Okay, maybe its just me.

Its not funny when one has to wear it for 2 days. No wonder most weddings last for only a day. I wonder how my friend in India did it for 3 days 3 nights....

Well at least now I know, if there's a day when I am torn between 2 gowns, I can always look for Paul the Octopus for an answer. I'm sure Paul will make good decision for me when it comes to choosing between the Spanish or German designer. Humm... Maybe I'll just seek opinion from the "sotong" in my fish tank instead. At least I could enjoy some calamari if the gown didn't look good on me.

I really hope I won't feel like I'm "working" on my big day. But I guess it's gonna be hard not to think about it that way. After all, I've been married for 5 times on screen.

Aliens & My Life on Earth

How are you feeling today?

I'm having a good time. :) Love the little things, kisses and hugs from my 2 beautiful nieces. Shoot starts in a few days. Gonna get myself ready for it. Maybe I'll be having another mini concert at a place that I've been longing to perform. It's now in talks. Crossing my fingers.

Life in general is good except for the occasional PMS. It's the weather I'm telling you. Missed the raining days......

Looks like its time to do up my room again. It's been awhile. But I don't know where to start... LOL

I've been doing some reading. Hope I'll keep it up. The book (Chariots Of the Gods) I'm reading is quite interesting, its about ancient Earth that had established contact with aliens... Pretty entertaining book I must say.

Hope all is well with you.

Money Matters

Mom was telling my two nieces about their father (my brother) who was spotted in school by a director to be in a soft drink TV advertisement in his teens on during RTS days... Yep, it was days way before SBC. LOL

He was paid $50 for a couple hours of shoot and that was more than 3 decades ago before I was born. It was considered then as very good money. In case you are wondering my brother is a few years more than a decade older than me. Yep big huge generation gap.

It is sad that talent these days are still paid about the same amount. I last heard from someone that they were looking for a talent for a couple hours of shoot and paying the sum of $100.

When I was very very young, the shuttle bus cost $0.15, movie tickets cost $1.50 and a bowl of wanton mee cost $1.20. These days, shuttle bus cost $0.90, movie tickets cost $10.00 and a bowl of wanton mee cost $3.50-$5.00. One would jump for joy when one discover a hawker stall that sells wanton mee at $2.50 these days.

The amount of $50 paid to my brother for the soft drink advertisement was more than 3 over decades ago. Yet those poor talent now are paid a mere $100. I bet 30 years later, talents will be paid $150. You do the maths....

In private sector, I totally give up. Lets talk about our casino. I read from the chinese papers that dealers were paid $1500 on a 12 hours shift and sometimes they even need to be security guards. The papers said we were considered very well paid compared to Malaysia, Vietnam and Philippines. Ermm... I thought Singapore is a developed country... I toured around Marina Bay Sands last night and I thought it was comparable to Melbourne's Crown Casino and Las Vegas. Years ago, a friend of mine was offered as a dealer in Las Vegas for USD$80,000 per year. Shouldn't our local dealer be paid at least SGD$30,000 per year instead of SGD$18,000 per year since we are a developed country? (Please correct my information should there be any mistakes.)

With little money left in my pocket after paying for internet fees, hand phone fees, food and transport, I fret the day comes when my wonton mee would cost $9.00 and movie ticket cost $25.00. By then I can totally forgo my wedding banquet plans, wear a $50 dress from This Fashion and a wedding band made from rubber band to ROM. Thankfully, the Registry Of Marriage has not risen its fee. Maybe I can still afford a feast of wanton mee for pax of 500 at hawker center for my relatives and friends to celebrate the special occasion and that is if I can find a hawker stall that charges not more than $2.50 per bowl. Gosh.... How I can forget the budget for beverages? Guess there will not be any wonton mee feast after all......

I shall slave and dedicate my life to pay for my HDB for the next 30 years and as for children, I don't think I have time and enough money to raise one until my HDB loan is paid up. I shall keep a pet goldfish to make my life complete. No, on the second thought, the fish tank will use up lots of water and my water bills will go up. Maybe I'll just keep a pet ant.....

Diva's Cafe 咖啡厅4

I wonder, if I could pack my bags now and rush myself to the airport, where would I be going? Seriously I have no answer. I can't simply pack my bags now without a destination. I can be anywhere now in the world but there must be something that cannot be explained and yet have to be felt to understand in order to make my trip worthwhile.

Meanwhile, I'll just let my imagination do the travelling over a cup of coffee.

Actually, a trip to KFC now may just be what I really need. :P

HUNGRY!!!

Diva's Cafe 咖啡厅3

A perfect song to take a good 5 minutes break from work.... 放松心情过后就能继续好好的工作。 我们一起加油吧！No sugar in my coffee for me tonight. Cheers!

写给“鸟蛋”弟弟的信

终于我鼓起了勇气，从你姐姐口中了解你去世的真相。但始终我没有勇气放声的大哭一场。想到你最后的那一刻是如此的无助，我的心有种说不出的伤痛。 除了希望你能安息，我还能做些什么？ 反而是你的家人劝我要节哀顺变。

我会带着微笑怀念你， 以纪念你多年来带给我数不尽的欢笑。把你的身影，歌声和说过的笑话藏在我心中，我们就可以继续一同去实现我们同样的梦。

我知道你看不懂英文，所以今天在这里特别以我没什么水准的中文为你写作。小弟，你看到了吗？ 你听懂了吗？你活着的时候日子无论再苦再痛也会一步一步的走，一天一天的过。你以往的勇气将会是我永不言败的原则。安息吧。。。

:)

Hello! How's things going with ya?

For me its after the storm, the rainbow appears. The surrounding air smells even better, fresh and clear. 2 friends were back from states but one of them Ben was here for head surgery and just flew back to states a few days ago for heart surgery. Gosh! 2 major surgery back to back.... I hope he'd recover soon. I'll pray to heaven to bless him with good health.

Finally met up with my CHIJ classmates. This year our gathering was another successful one. True friendship never dies.

I still miss Jerry and I know he's watching over me in heaven. I've been smiling for him because I know very well that he would want me to stay strong and happy.

I'm recovering well from my accident too. I have been well fed by Prince and Ben. Ben took me out for dinner (Indian food) 3 times that week when Prince was away working in China. Not forgetting my mom's home cooked food! YUMMY! I am thankful!

I refuse (2)

There's not a day I won't think about Jerry since that fateful day. I even found myself looking at his picture chatting with him like I used to. However, I am calm. I'd like to believe he's still around but only physically gone. Maybe I've been afraid to forget him.

I'll do my best to make my way to Kuala Lumpur together with a few other friends to visit his final resting place on 13th August. That day will mark the 100 day of his departure according to his family.

His sudden departure had shocked and sadden many of us. I'm glad to have a friend, brother and comrade like him. We've had walked the fire together. I'll never forget the time when we went on a crazy adventure to an unknown island in Thailand. No one in a sound mind would have agreed to my impulsive ideas but him. Come to think about it, this brother of mine never says no to me.

He's a friend whom I really no doubt wanna grow old with. Good friend like him is really hard to come by. I am glad I've always cherished him all these years and not just saying good things about him only after his death. I am glad no matter what others think or thought of him in the past, I never let them affect our friendship.

Yep I'm still angry at this little brother of mine with his sudden departure. But I know he wouldn't if given a choice. Whoever or whatever took his life, I pray for justice. I'll smile when I think of him.

Thank you for the good memories. Thank you for bringing joy and laughter into my life. Your legacy lives on through the smiles you'd given me my dear brother, comrade and friend.

Rest in peace. You will never be forgotten.

I refuse.......

I would love to let it all out but I can't because I knew you wouldn't want me to. Everyday for the last 8 days I can feel as though someone's pushing a pin into my heart twice a day. Then I saw your smile in my head every time and always just in time before I gave up holding back my pain and gone berserk.

You sure knew me well with all those years fighting those battles with me side by side. How could you not my brother and dear friend? You were the very few rare gems in this world who truly knew me well.

May you rest in peace.

Yes, even if you're gone we are still a team like before and I'll fulfill your dreams. What a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you.

80s Rewind........

It's Pac-Man 30th Anniversary!! Google changing it’s logo for 3 days now but they still have the playable pacman logo! Growing up in the 80s myself were the days way before Nintendos to Xbox's Halo. Oki I know my "current happenings" is a little out of date. When I stopped playing games and be intoxicated with FB games instead, my Xbox's new designation is to collect dust deep inside the storage room and be forgotten. Nope its not even a 360 if you are wondering.

Recently I excavated the ancient box as I dug deep into the storage room while spring cleaning. Its still in good condition and I have every intention to utilize it for my family's recreation. However I have second thoughts as I couldn't help to imagine the "alien VS monster" (nieces) of my house would do the box.....

I can only pray.........

Meanwhile it's safer to just stick to PACMAN... I'll sleep over it.

Hungry......

Those drowsy pain killers ain't helping much but at least it puts me to sleep. I'm sick of sleeping.

My lips hurt and my teeth hurt, so I've been living mainly on soya milk for the last 3 days. I had a bad fall thats all. Nothing too serious but I can't chew and that's a big problem. Hungry, yet I don't feel like eating.

On the good side, I lost quite a bit of weight and the other comfort is that I had collected my MR LE NOVO today!! Cheers!

Nah... I'm not moody. Just feeling hungry and craving for KFC. I am just glad that I've got no bones broken.

Hope you are well. :)

Coffee - 咖啡厅 2

I've decided to share with you what I'm listening to today during my coffee break.

我想再次与你分享我的"今日咖啡歌". 你还不快去泡杯咖啡?! 快! 茶也可以! 我等你!

LOL Nahhh Kidding! But not really too...... How about this version?

搞笑! 不如听听以下版本......

Yep, I'm california dreaming again.....

First version VS Second version. Which one do you like?

Hummm.... I kinda like both... LOL

Enjoy your weekend! 大家轻松一下啦! 祝你有个愉快的周末!

What's going on!

Hi! I'm requesting your help to spread words around for this event in the name of charity. Thank you very much.

IN HER SHOES 2- Art & Music Against Cancer

WHEN : 25th May 2010 730pm

WHERE: Sculpture Square Gallery & Secret Garden

155 Middle Road

Tickets available online from Monday 3rd May 2010! Book while they last!

CLICK HERE TO BOOK!

Thank you for taking time to read the above event.

-------------------------------------------------

Back to me again....... :P

Life's been blissful and peaceful. I've been enjoying my time and doing all that I love, as usual. The highlights about me for the past 3 months, I became a screen writer, producer and director.

Co-wrote a movie with Prince and now we are working on more scripts and ideas. Helped a friend to produce and directed half of a corporate video. Now our next corporate video is in talks. I am having fun. :)

Maybe I shouldn't call myself a director yet because I am still learning from real directors, hence I am still a wannabe. LOL As for screen writer, I guess I can call myself a screenwriter now as I have had completed a full length feature script and registered my name for copyright as the owner of the script. As for being the producer part, (thats new too) I should say, yeah why not? I am in the producer team of 2 registered company. :)

Actually what I am trying to share here is.... Have you seen YES MAN the movie by Jim Carrey? The basic principle is to say "yes" to new situations, leaving the negativism aside. The thing is, the worst you get from trying is to be laugh upon should you fail. But if you don't try, nothing will ever happen and get going in your life. So which is worst? I'd rather be laugh at then to let my life slip away. Just a thought.....

Coffee - 咖啡厅

我就爱喝咖啡. I love my coffee breaks. 有很多时候话不必多说. 只要一杯香浓咖啡再加上一首百听不厌的歌, 什么难事都能解决. It is the only time that one will truly stay calm and give serious thoughts to resolve any matters in life. It works for me at least. 当然, 单纯的喝咖啡也是人生一大享受. Tea works the same too. Enjoy. :)

Dear Mr Le Novo

I'm into romance this season. Got myself "divorced" and "remarried" on the same day. LOL

In case you are wondering, I'm talking about termination of my old broadband contract and signed on for the new one. Its a commitment of 24 months before my next hunt for a new toy. Sounds like the modern marriage these days isn't it? This "arranged marriage" promised me a brand new toyboy(Laptop) Mr Le Novo who will be sitting on my lap and sleeping in my room for the next 30 months at least. Purrrrr.......

The thing is, I don't even know how Mr Le Novo looks like. Gosh... Please be gorgeous! But his character and parentage (specs) sounds good on paper. He has the bloodline of IBM and an Intel inside with acceptable memory. Of course I'll add additional memory in him just in case he forgets things like my birthday... LoL Crossing my fingers!

I can't wait to meet Mr Le Novo in mid May. Meow....

I don't know what got over me

Its so hard to get myself back to reading. I was at borders earlier hoping to find some interesting books. Yet I got quite upset with a book I picked from the shelf because I wasted 10 minutes of my life on it. The title was interesting but the content was not what I hoped for. The author did not come to her point but going in circles. It contained nothing but back ups from researches. The best part was it didn't live up to its title. Then Prince located me at the psychology section and asked if I found anything interesting. I got up from my seat with that book and I almost burst. I don't know why I got so upset, not with Prince of course but the book. Maybe I felt cheated. I went on complaining about the book. Then I tried to find some titles that I thought would interest me. Prince then asked me what I was looking for. "I don't know. Some stuff on sociopath or criminal psycho would be nice." I replied. Maybe I replied too fast. It was then I felt a few heads turn towards me with dropped jaws. They must have thought I am a psycho in the making. LOL Too much crime channels on cable lately maybe....

I went on to the history section. I was hoping to get a good deal from the discounted racks but again I found nothing. Prince after making his payment joined me again and offer his help once more. "They seem to have nothing but ang moh history. Nothing about China." Then a nice man replied "Here's one! I'm sorry but I heard you." I thanked him on the spot but it was a photography book not what I was looking for but even then I felt good and a smile came back to my face.

I don't know what got over me today. But I'm quite sure its my PMS plus I had fallen ill for a week has got something to do with it. Mood swings maybe? I concluded I was just angry at myself for not reading those books I spent hundreds of dollars on (guilt) and upset that I couldn't find my joy in reading (no motivation). Anyway reading is a habit that needs to be cultivated on daily basis. I'll just have to work on to get over it.

Prince and I went on to watch a movie "A single man". It was directed by a first time director who used to be a fashion designer from Gucci. Costume and set design looks very pretty. It was sexy. Half the time Prince and I were whispering to each other "This shot looks like a fashion shoot!" "Did I see or hear Wong Kar Wai?" . It turned out the movie sound track was indeed the same composer who had worked on Wong Kar Wai's film.

During supper, we compared this movie to "My rainy days" which I referred to jokingly as the "Japanese porn movie" because of its movie poster. Of course it was nothing of that sort. It was a love story. Interestingly both shared some common elements. I shall not review too much here. Nah. No spoilers.

I shall feel better tomorrow and get back to my readings.... Hope you are well and have a great week ahead.

Finally the long awaited....

TARTS!!

Strawberry & Chocolate Tart!

Mango Tart!

This is the Blueberry tart I've been craving..........

And they are all MINE!! MUAHAHAHAHHA!!

Meet my tart sponsor, the one and only DA PRINCE!

Something for this rainy day....

Enjoy..........

About Blueberry Tart.

Seems like I've been enjoying blueberry tart every week but that's not true. The last I had it was back in Jan and I've been craving about it since Chinese New Year. Oh yeah , whats the big deal? I could have easily take a cab down to city hall to get it. But the point is, I prefer it to be bought for me. :P

Not that I can't afford the tart. Not that I can't make my way to buy. Just like a simple bowl of instant noodle, it always taste better when my mom cook it for me. Cookies and cupcakes never taste better than what my nieces baked from school, they even saved it specially for me.

Hummmm... But in this case I shall stop waiting. I'll make my way to city hall for my Blueberry Tart tomorrow. There are times when good things/food cannot wait! LOL

Must See Tuesdays!!

Every Tuesday 830pm Ch 5!! CHEERS!!

Children from heaven....

I dozed off on my elder niece's bed this afternoon. She tip toe her way to cover me with a blanket. I opened my eyes, she giggled and ran away. Then, I went back to sleep with a smile. Awwww ..... Sweet.

New Toy!!

Prince got me an iphone!! Prince got me an iphone!! Prince got me an iphone!!
Yeah, I can just go on screaming forever just like my 7 year old niece did, when she got her very first doll house from me last christmas. LOL

However, I am an idiot when comes to my new toy. Maybe I should get myself an idiot's guide to iphone? LOL It took me 18 hours to figure out how it works. Yes I know, I should have just read the instruction guide that comes with the box. Naaaaaaaaah.

Enough of my bragging and thank you for reading, back to my story for the day.

The mini divas drew me a picture.
I slept like a baby in the afternoon even when my phone rang 6 times.
Prince and I went for a midnight movie "Up in the air" at cineleisure. It was really enjoyable. A very script driven movie. Clever. Love it! The lead actress was superb.
I ate char kuay diao and o-ah jian for supper.... :P

Yep, I couldn't ask for more. Life's simple pleasure. Meeeeow! I am contented!

Back to spring cleaning.....

Finally it rained.... The air pollution, together with the oven hot temperature in the afternoon has been so unbearable that I nearly wanna rub salt on myself and be sun baked for good. LOL

I am THANKFUL FOR THE RAIN!!!!

Anyway, I have decided to listen to my mom's advise and abandon my blueberry tart to get in shape. Maybe I'll have just have one more slice tomorrow..... and one slice of bak gua... and one or two chocolates......one last high tea.... and KFC.... ARRGH!
To think, mom's gonna cook "char siew" for lunch tomorrow.... HEEEEELP!

Whatever.......... (Rolling my own eyes)
I shall think about food no more.

Spring cleaning. I should focus on my spring cleaning. I'm almost done reorganizing my room anyway.

Now that I'm only left with only some paper work to do. Tomorrow I guess I should take it easy and divide my time for mom and mini divas, my slumber land and the paper work. Maybe I'll even squeeze in a time slot for Alice in wonderland in 3D.....

I wish you well and may you find happiness from everything around you today.
CHEERS!!

Besides chocolates & bak gua

I know I know.... I've been talking about losing weight and all that for the longest time but I am really not in the mood to do so. Not that I don't want to look good but I really am happy with myself. Yep, even though I'm "FAT" in screen's term but I'm happy. I had the best blueberry tart in the world! LOL Yes that's my point! I WANT MY BLUEBERRY TART!! NOW!! LOL

Chocolates and bak gua talk aside, I'm very glad today's the day I did it. It was so fun on set. Nope, I wasn't the actress this time. Hummm Come to think about it, for the past 2 days I did 2 new things. Let's just say, I haven't enjoy so much fun with creativity until now. Its a whole new level for me in experiencing the sensation of the ability to create and the process of giving birth to my very own creation. I've actually allowed my brain to work for once. LOL

Tomorrow will be another day of creativity. The fun has just begun. Gotta go get my rusty brain oiled now. And yes its also a day for me to celebrate the debut of Police & Thief Season 6.

I am so looking forward to my vacation next month. And maybe a mini vacation first next week perhaps? (TO PRINCE: HINT HINT!) LOL

Hope all is well with you. :)

Small Talks

Hummm..... The movie gala's tomorrow. Hope I can still fit into my dress. LOL How's everything with ya? Still feasting? I am, especially those left overs pineapple tarts and Bak Guas from CNY. LOL

Recap on my new happenings. Made 2 changes in my profession or shall I say I've had added 2 new professions to my resume. Naaah, I reserve my bragging rights until both been done. :P All I would say is I'm still working on it. Actually there's nothing to brag about. It's just plain work, new projects with new excitements and passion.

Because the government advises us to upgrade and so I did. Hopefully I would be value added soon. LOL Naaah, I'm just being open to learning new stuffs and experiences.

Life's been hectic with all that seemingly non stop festive celebrations and new projects but thankfully, my surroundings has been superbly peaceful which allows me to do more, worry less and fully focus on my tasks without distractions and hesitations. Despite of so many things going on, I am still able to find time for myself especially for my family. Yep, I've been enjoying lots of ME time too. :) WAHOOO!

By the way, my spring cleaning is going really well. You may wonder why that I am still doing my spring cleaning, since now its already after CNY. LOL I'm doing major changes, taking my own sweet time going through every single item, throwing out things that I have zero reasons to keep, moving in new furnitures that should have been moved in ages ago and reorganizing. So far, I've thrown out 10 large trash bags of "I dunno what". I foresee there should be 3 more trash bags to be rid off before I move on to work on my "wardrobe department". Well for now, at least my vanity corner/makeup department has been done up, book shelf has been reorganized and even new lights been brought in. I'm feeling great about it. This major spring cleaning process is symbolic to me. It is to remind me of who I was before and what I am to become, cleansing my soul and cutting away all dead wood that allows me to embrace the new and positive life that's coming for me. I'm loving it.....

I should go soon. My next spring cleaning day will be on coming Saturday after the movie gala, meetings and preparation for the new project. Hopefully my perfect slumber land will be fully ready by mid March. I should go back to my project now. Hope you are well and may you be blessed with a peaceful week ahead. Cheers!

Trailer of my mini concert Oct 2009

I know this is over due..... Million thanks to Derek and crews of Treasure Production for the trailer!

From Beijing to Berlin

Read from the Chinese papers that one ABC and his friend (videographer) hitch rides all the way from Beijing to Berlin to visit his girlfriend. After 3 months passing 13 countries they finally arrived in Berlin. The first thing the girlfriend said to the ABC was, " Next time when you come to visit me, you can take the plane..." LOL

I'm laughing now because if my prince did the same I wouldn't know to cry or to laugh. To cry, because his journey took 3 months, this means I have to wait for 3 months! But then, this can be quite romantic for a guy to do that. To laugh because, if he would just pay for the plane ticket, he would be here with me in a day or two, saves all time and trouble. So, if you are the girlfriend, how would you respond to that ?

For me, if I knew my prince would be doing that, I would tell him to fly in , save the time and tour the whole Europe with me. Now, this is romantic, at least to me. By the way we don't need a videographer....

I guess the best real life romantic story I've heard is about this Australian white male photojournalist who scuba dives under the Mekong to rescue his lover from communist ruled Laos in 1977. Now that is truly deadly romantic....

LOL I'll be just as happy if Prince would kill roaches for me. CHEERS!

DOUBLE HAPPINESS IS HERE!!

Hello! Wish you a Happy Happy Chinese New Year and Happy Happy V Day!

May you find happiness always!

Meanwhile I gotta rush back to my spring cleaning! Gosh! 5hours before midnight!!

CHEERS!

The thing about Chinese New Year

Hello! Hope you are well and done with spring cleaning for the coming CNY. I'm still working on it. Paint work for the house is 90% done, thankfully. I know, I'm slow but I'm painting alone. And yes, I took my own sweet time and now, I'm only left with 3 days to finish up before I start work and all that parties. ARRGH! Only 3 days left! LOL

Ann told me she hated our neighbourhood mall especially after its expansion. I didn't understood what she meant until today. Gosh! It was so packed..... Good thing is the supermarket is open for 24hours per day.

So I'm all set and ready for CNY. Shoes, bags, clothes and gifts for elders checked, except the spring cleaning part.

I must finish the paint work by tomorrow, then I can finally work on my own room and followed by some last minute touch ups like getting a lamp and mirror from Ikea, the 3M bathroom shelves for the bathroom, and I dunno what else anymore.... LOL The main thing is I want to avoid crowds and all that mad rush this time. So this means, I may not shop at Chinatown at all this CNY.

Met up with Sue over coffee. We had a great time. We talked about the silly things we did during Primary school days, our plans for the future and stuffs. Great conversation! One of the best I had in years. So, I was thinking maybe we all should hang out at Jace's place on one of the days during CNY. Humm... This reminds me that I should give Jace a call tomorrow and yes, I should start planning my CNY visiting route..... Gonna be so packed...... Gosh! There's still so much to do......

I NEED SHOES!!

I know.... For those who knew me personally, would kill me for saying this because once upon a time I owned 100 over pairs of shoes. (As I said, once upon a time. )But I really do need new shoes! I haven't bought any for the last nine months AT LEAST! Hey, that's record breaking for me! I have only left about about 40 pairs and they are mainly dress shoes. I can't wear them as I don't have any thing to match.

I haven't found my "shoe of the year" since 2008. Now to me this is upsetting and totally unforgivable. Yeah, whats that big deal with shoes, you may ask. It is big deal! We are born to walk with our two feet. It ain't easy to walk to the end of life. Those uphills, downhills, uneven roads and harsh terrain ....... The only thing that protect our skin is shoe. I wanna wear different shoes for different times. Spice up with a little style on my feet helps me to walk in style and feel good. Positive outlook attracts positive outcome. Just like how some people like to wear different watches everyday.

Now the question is, WHERE"S THE SALE?? ARRGH! GOSH !!! I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR FOR CHINESE NEW YEAR!

By the way I had started painting the house. Today I finished with the main door. Guess my next paint job for the house shall resume on Monday. Its the weekend, Saturday and Sunday are meant to have fun.

HAPPY WEEKEND EVERYONE!!

Crazy Beginings

Have you started your spring cleaning for Chinese New Year yet? How's 2010 been treating you so far? Me? Oh yes, you came here to my blog to hear me. Yeah, so I should update you about me now. LOL But yes, let me know you are well too. :)

Tomorrow I shall start painting the house. My room is still in a mess as usual. Okay, I'll do something about it. I SHALL TRY HARDER! LOL

For the whole week, dramas dramas dramas. But the dark cloud has started to clear. Thank heaven for that! Positive energy attracts positive outcome! :) Good news is, I'll be doing a promo for my sitcom Police and Thief Season 6 next week. I don't know the details yet but I feel really excited. Gosh, imagine we finished the shoot last year Feb. Broadcast date delayed over and over again. Well, now we are all set to go on 23rd Feb 2010. YAY!

The bad part is I don't think I'll get to watch..... Mom would want to watch her CH8 drama. Not that she wouldn't support me but its hard to keep up with the story when you need to skip an episode. Yes, my mom would rush home from anywhere just to watch TV. LOL Now you can kind of understand why I am an actress. Yeah I'm an attention seeker! LOL Nah.... Kidding! Mom will always watch me on TV no matter what. She'll pretend she's not interested but she'll start calling her friends and relatives whenever I'm on. She'll whisper on the phone to get them watch me. That's what makes everything I went through during shoot worthwhile. Those sleepless nights, over nights, those mad rush in the morning at 5am and the need to remember 10 over scenes of lines per night.

Oh yes, I've got back to my workout and I'm feeling great! 3 hours of workout per week is not that hard after all. Slowly I shall increase it to 5hours. I've decided to do so because I missed wearing my body hugging dresses and singlets. Okay besides that, health reasons mainly. I even cut down on my caffeine intake since I'm taking a break from work. But not for very long as I need to get back to my project next week.

Hope you are well. Yes I'm shaken, down and out because I still haven't got my New Year clothes yet. LOL Looking at the bright side, I can save money. :)

Welcome to the new decade!

Happy New Year! Sorry I'm a little slow to send my well wishes here. LOL

Nothing new is happening but the same old thing like trying to lose some pounds of fats and how my mood been affected by the weather etc etc... That's life. :)

Xmas party and new year eve party was fun. The home cooked food thingy seems to be in this season. The new year eve's party was peaceful and heart warming. Yeah We had pot luck. Prince and I made some appetizer. After dinner we play a game of monopoly and then FACEBOOK convention. LOL The host had requested us to bring our laptops so we had 4 laptops.... You may think this is crazy but it was actually quite fun. LOL. Nah I didn't bring my lappy as I had Xmas lunch at Ritz Carlton that ended at 330pm and the mad rush to make the appetizer at Prince's, then rush our way to our host's by 7pm...

Magic happened during my count down to the new decade. A light breeze blew pass me, I felt a sense of relief at the same time, as though a ton of burden was lifted away together and gone with the wind the moment this new decade begun..... Yeah My dramatic magic moment... LOL
Life just gets better!! :)

WELCOME TO THE NEW DECADE !!